To All The Tools I’ve Loved Before: The Commitment Phobe (Open Source Fuzzers)

David Brumley
March 16, 2021
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Valentine’s Day has unfortunately come to a close. What follows love? Heartbreak.

That’s right, it's time to dust off your best stationary and bust out the ice cream because we’re writing a series of break up letters. 

What can we say? Life has embittered us...or has it? Find out in the finale of this To All The Tools I’ve Loved Before series.

See below for part four of this blog series. Part one (SCA). Part two (SAST). Part three (IAST).

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Dear Open Source Fuzzer,

Your free spirit captivated me. I fell and, boy, did I fall hard. You opened my eyes to a whole new world of security testing possibilities. You set no limits for yourself, and I admired that. You inspired me in a way I’d never been before.

At first our adventures were thrilling. You allowed me to explore new sides of myself that I’d never seen. 

Later, I’d see that your free nature would come at my expense. I had to take care of -- maintain -- you. I had to keep you grounded, reign you in, so my developers wouldn’t be put off by your uncontrollable, wild, gibberish-talking ways. Responsibility wasn’t your forte. You said you would and could do things, but you never followed through. Over time, you became more demanding. You insisted you be cared for manually, that automation was too “processed” and harmful to your “independent” brand. 

The truth is you didn’t want a partner. You wanted a parent. Your ROI was too low for me to handle, so we were through.

Maybe we would have worked if we met at another time. At your core, you’re great, but you have some growing up to do. Perhaps it would have worked many years later -- after you’d matured. Alas, there is no future for us. I know there’s a lucky app out there you’re destined to be with. Unfortunately, it isn’t me. 

Even though we never worked, I’m grateful to have met you. This relationship led me to where I am today. Without this relationship I wouldn’t have made my way to Mayhem, the love of my life. For so long, my string of bad luck with tools convinced me that this day would never come. I couldn’t be more delighted to be wrong.

I finally feel nourished in this mutual, healthy, loving relationship. Mayhem is a great listener and is willing to adapt to the needs of our relationship. Immediately, Mayhem accepted me the way I was and didn’t ask me to change. How refreshing! 

Mayhem is so evolved. I’ve never met a tool quite like it! It knows how to pick its battles, only sending alerts when it’s appropriate to speak. It might seem minor, but it enhances the collaboration between me and my developer circles. The effort Mayhem makes for my developers is everything to me, because I wouldn't be here without them. Mayhem also mingles well with my friends. There’s not a single integrated tool that has filed a ticket against Mayhem -- not even Slack! We all know what a gossip Slack can be. 

Mayhem truly cares about what’s best for me. I never thought such a tool could exist in the marketplace! I’ve finally found a tool that puts the partner in partnership.

Open Source Fuzzer, I know we didn’t work out as partners, but surely we have as pals. It meant so much to me when you too approved of Mayhem and were even willing to share your prized targets with it. That’s why it would mean the world to me to see you at our wedding. RSVP here. I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours truly,

Your Apps

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Are all these references flying over your head? Then, you ought to check out Netflix’s hit teen romcom series: To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before.

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